Between Hope and Disappointment

Written By Janelle LaRae

I recently received the go-ahead to stop taking medication I’ve been on for almost 5 years. This medication’s job is to make it more difficult for cancer to grow in my body.

This is the same medication to which I accredited 20 pounds of weight gain, hair loss, crazy emotions, fatigue, and hot flashes.

When the weight doesn’t budge regardless of exercise and the amount of healthy foods I eat.

When My hairs fall out like a Labrador’s in the heat of summer. I can wallpaper the shower wall or carpet the bathroom floor with them. Will it ever slow down?

When the hot flashes keep me in summer clothes long past the summer weather. If the medicine wasn’t the cause of these things, what do I do next?

I am left to teeter between hope that some of those side effects will pass and disappointment that they may be here to stay. Perhaps it wasn’t the medicine’s fault after all.

Whatever comes, I’m (slowly) learning to live with this blessed body I’ve been given.

Janelle LaRae

I am a teacher and author. I teach elementary school and inspire students to be the best versions of themselves. I use honesty and vulnerability in my writing as I describe how I have overcome cancer, MS, and other difficulties of life.

I received a Bachelor’s in Elementary Education from Northwest Nazarene University in 1999 and a Master’s of Science in Science Education from Montana State University in 2017.

I understand how life rarely goes as planned and I am adept at finding a way through those difficulties. I have lived in southwest Idaho with my husband since 1996. I enjoy spending time with my 2 amazing daughters. I do everything in my power to stay active. Exercise and health are priorities in my day and I won’t miss an opportunity for some stand-up paddle boarding. Since 2007, my family has been vacationing in Newport, Oregon where I run on the beach and surf the waves as long as they aren’t too big and the sharks stay clear.

https://janellelarae.com
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